It’s a judgment call that depends on a few factors, say genealogists. What is the scandal? Who will it impact? A family historian must answer these two questions before deciding how to manage the skeletons in the closet.
“Family secrets can be very powerful and can destroy families,” cautioned Thomas MacEntee, who runs the genea-blog Destination Austin Family. A member of several genealogical societies, MacEntee has been researching his own family genealogy for the last 13 years.
In an email, MacEntee outlined some of the things a family historian must consider when they uncover sensitive information.
What is the Family Secret?
Illegitimate children, divorce, abandonment and same-sex, inter-faith or inter-racial relationships are examples of old-fashioned family secrets that don’t seem so scandalous today.
“Here in the US it was a scandal, and illegal, to have an inter-racial marriage,” noted MacEntee. “The state laws were not removed from the books until 1967. But these days inter-racial and even inter-faith marriages are not the cause for consternation as they once were.”
Some even argue that family tendencies toward addiction or mental illness, or illnesses such as Parkinson’s or Huntington’s disease are better shared to help future generations of the family tree cope with possible problems in their own lives.
Deciding how terrible the skeletons in the closet are will help a family historian with the next step --deciding what should stay private and what could become public if relatives give their approval.
Who Will It Impact?
A 30-year-old researcher in the 21st century may not consider something a scandal, but that doesn’t mean Aunt Bessie will feel the same way, especially if the family secret directly involves her.
“A general rule for most genealogists and family historians is not to publish information about living persons, period,” advised MacEntee. A family historian must respect living relatives’ privacy, MacEntee said, and protect them where possible from identity theft, especially in a field where mothers’ maiden names, an important piece of security information for most people, are constantly used.
Even published information not specifically about living relatives may still impact them. A living relative may fear denial of health insurance if a history of health problems has been publicly revealed by someone researching the family genealogy.
MacEntee is very sensitive to what family information is published in his blog.
“I realize that not all of my family are computer literate,” he wrote, “but for certain one of their children or grandchildren would be and I can just imagine a conversation such as ‘Guess what I found on the Internet, Grandma?’”
If information cannot be published, the family historian has several options on how to preserve both their discovery and everyone’s privacy.
What to Do with Family Secrets
- Most genealogy software programs have features that allow a family historian to hide or password-protect sensitive information.
- Hard copies of information can be kept in a special binder. Depending on the length of time the secrets must be kept, a copy may also be placed with estate planning documents.
- Some family historians entrust select relatives with knowledge of both the existence and location of sensitive information in case the historian is suddenly incapacitated.
Although a family historian may search for years before turning up any family secrets, the Canadian Genealogical Centre advises anyone beginning to trace their family genealogy to consider how discoveries of scandal will be dealt with.
“All families have skeletons in the closet,” the site advises. “Your family will not be an exception.”
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